Hi, my friend-

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered while living in Europe, it’s that coffee is art and science. They take their coffee very seriously here in Portugal. Back in the States, I used to order my coffee tall, black, and with a splash of cream.

Here in Europe, most people prefer a ‘café,’ a simple yet profound shot of espresso. I would gulp it down when I first arrived in Portugal, but now I savor every sip. Just a few doors down, I sat on one of the three stools at Tiago's café. As usual, Tiago, the owner, shared his unique insights on coffee and their connection to difficult conversations.

Think of making the perfect cup of coffee. The beans are like your thoughts and ideas; the brewing process is about timing when to share them. If you speak up too soon, it’s like using water that's too hot – it can burn the beans and leave a bitter taste. But if you wait too long, the coffee turns out lukewarm and weak, just like your ideas can lose their punch or relevance if you hold back for too long.

A quick step back: as an executive coach, I help leaders who manage teams and entire companies navigate the universal challenge of their decisions, especially in difficult conversations, so this conversation with Tiago got really good.

The secret ingredient is in the brewing, in addition to the beans (or words you use). The magic happens when you combine the elements at precisely the right moment.

Your words can be as rich and flavorful as the finest espresso with the right thoughtfulness. It’s all about sensing when your insights can truly add value and waiting for that perfect moment when they can make the biggest impact.

Here are some key questions to help guide your conversations (and no, I didn’t make these up):

• Does it need to be said?
• Does it need to be said right now?
• Does it need to be said by me?

These questions serve as a guide to ensure that your input is necessary, timely, and appropriate, much like carefully choosing the right beans and the perfect brewing time for the most delicious cup of hot goodness.

Rather than reacting on impulse before you burn your lip, take a moment to craft a thoughtful response, making sure your input is as rich and satisfying as the best cup of coffee. And sometimes, it's better to let the cup cool down a little first.

How do you take your coffee?

Obrigado
Bryan

Bryan Kramer is the author of Human-to-Human and Shareology -> books​

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